quietly starting again
"the raw version"
hey again :) it is been a long time it is been a while since the last time that i write something and it is strange why? because I have a lot of untold stories that i am choosing to bury again and i know it is noooot good at all to do this again but you know i have never imagined that i will stay a long time without writing i miss my words i have been shutting them down and pretend that they do not exist why? writing make me think try to put my messy brain in order to write which has become challenging so i quit i give up i am so afraid to face my thoughts when i try to wtite i write the same things over and over for years now and writing words down ake them feels real when it is in my head it is like there but when i see it written it is scary how my love my safe space "writing" becomes scary my overthinking maybemy depression that's a plus but i shouldn't have give up writing what do you think?
"chatgpt said: gently reshaped—more organized, but still fully in your voice"
Hey again :)
It’s been a long time.
It feels strange to write again. Not because I don’t have anything to say—in fact, I have so many untold stories. But I’ve been choosing to bury them. And I know that’s not good. I know it. Still, I never imagined I’d go this long without writing.
I miss my words. I’ve been shutting them down, pretending they don’t exist. Why? Because writing makes me think. It forces me to try and put my messy brain in order—and lately, that’s been so hard. So I stopped. I quit. I gave up.
I’ve become afraid of my own thoughts. Every time I try to write, it’s like I’m just repeating the same things—again and again, for years now.
And the truth is... writing things down makes them feel real. When something is just in my head, it’s like it exists, but in a distant way. But once I write it down, once I see it—it’s there, staring at me. And that’s scary.
It breaks my heart that my love—my safe space, writing—has started to feel like a threat. Maybe it’s my overthinking. Maybe it’s my depression. Maybe both.
But I shouldn’t have given up on writing.